In a culture that often equates success with high grades and prestigious college acceptances, teenagers can easily lose sight of their own values and passions. This disconnect is a major contributor to burnout. A clinical psychologist advises that one of the most important things parents can do for their teens is to help them discover and reflect on their personal values and priorities.
Meghna Kanwat, a clinical psychologist, suggests that parents should “help adolescents reflect on their values and priorities.” This goes beyond asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It involves deeper conversations about what makes them feel fulfilled, what they care about in the world, and what kind of person they want to be.
When a teenager has a clear sense of their own values—whether it’s creativity, community, or personal growth—their academic pursuits gain a new sense of purpose. Schoolwork becomes not just a means to an end (a good grade), but a way to build skills that align with their personal mission. This intrinsic motivation is a powerful antidote to the cynicism and exhaustion of burnout.
This process of self-reflection also helps teens build a more robust sense of self-worth. If their identity is rooted in their values, it is less vulnerable to the ups and downs of academic performance. A lower-than-expected test score becomes a setback, not a reflection of their fundamental worth as a person.
Parents can facilitate these conversations by sharing their own values and being open to their teen’s exploration, even if it diverges from their own expectations. By helping their child define success on their own terms, parents give them a powerful anchor that will keep them grounded and motivated through the challenges of school and beyond.